MYRTLE BEACH, SOUTH CAROLINA - A Baptist was shocked when he read in John 2 that Jesus turned water into wine. "Wait, what?" David Paine said. "This cannot be." David was seriously concerned because his Baptist church preaches against all the mortal sins of the Baptist denomination: drinking, smoking, cussing, chewing, and going with them that do.
"Look at the scripture", David said.
"And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.... Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim. And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it. When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine..."
The scripture says Jesus turned water into wine. Maybe drinking wine is not a sin after all? He met with his pastor and showed him what he read. His pastor was quick to point out, "No, that is grape juice." "Are you sure? It plainly says wine", David asked. "Yes, I am sure. The scripture teaches that drinking any kind of alcohol is a sin. Therefore, Christ did not turn water into alcoholic wine, but new wine, that is, grape juice - like Welch's."
"Where does the scripture condemn drinking alcohol?", David asked again.
The pastor quoted Ephesians where it says be not drunk, and how a woe is given to those that give their neighbor a drink. However, when David looked those passages up, he found the pastor didn't quote the whole text properly. "Ephesians says drunk with wine in excess. Don't be drunk. It doesn't prohibit drinking wine. The passage from Habakkuk you cited doesn't condemn giving someone a drink, it condemns giving some a drink with the intent to make him drunk to uncover their nakedness."
The Pastor continued to cite passage that he thought condemned alcohol period, but when taken it context, condemned drunkenness, which David also condemned.
"Well, I witnessed a miracle today. Jesus turned water into wine, and Baptists can turn that wine into grape juice."