NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Feeling confident after leading Hillary Clinton in recent polls, Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump read Matthew 5, 6, and 7 to a crowd gathered in New York City on top of a mountain of trash.
Trump was in New York City recently where he was scheduled to speak about the ongoing strike by the sanitation department. They have refused to pick up trash because they demand higher wages. Seeing the mounds of garbage everywhere, Trump decided to climb on top a mountain of trash, and give his speech from there to the people.
And when he saw the crowds gathered together, he opened his mouth and spake, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Trump continued quoting directly from Matthew 5, 6, and 7. When it was all over, people were confused and wondered if he actually prepared those words or if he stole it from another, since it was not something he would normally say.
Some lady in the crowd remembered these words from Sunday School and said, "Hey you stole that from Jesus. Jesus said all those things. You just quoted from the Gospel of Matthew."
Trump was hoping nobody would notice that he plagiarized the Sermon on the Mount, and most Americans didn't, as they have no idea what God has spoken, but one lady did, so Trump had to address her.
"Listen sweet heart, me and Jesus have a lot in common: we have the best platform, the best party and the best nominee for the United States of America. And in my humble opinion, I think I preached it better."
Even some Trump supporters where shocked that he said he did a better job that Jesus. Even the crowd knew that you must at least honor Jesus with your lips, even if your heart is far from him. Therefore the people became angry. Trump saw that the crowd didn't like what he said and tried to adapt.
"What I meant was, I'm a uniter. Look at all these crowds. Look at all the people that come to my rallies. Did Jesus have this many followers? I don't think so. Did unbelievers like Jesus? I don't think so. But they sure like me. I'm a uniter but Jesus is a divider. I'm sorry its true."
Trump then descended from the mountain of trash, entered a black SUV and continued on the campaign trail. Leading Evangelicals are now scrambling to try and figure out how to make the wolf look like a sheep again after this event.