NEW YORK, NEW YORK - In a "tell all" article in the New York Times, several well known politicians state they learned from the church that tickling the ears of hearers is more effective in increasing numbers and support, than speaking the truth.

Many Americans are upset at the politicians of our day since these politicians are known for making promises that they cannot fulfill. They promise they will make everything fair, they promise to increase your wage, they promise you better jobs, they promise to give you things that cost our forefathers blood, sweat, and tears and hard work to attain.

One politician said, "Yes we offer empty promises to people because that is what people want to hear. And if you just tell them what they want to hear, they will support you." Another one said, "It truly is shocking the things we get away with. But the people apparently could care less - they just want to be told they are great, they are not the problem, everyone else is."

"Telling the truth and speaking plainly is unpopular today. That is why we resorted to just telling people what they want to hear. Why else do you think the democratic party is so popular and successful?"

Yet another politician was really bold, and said, "We learned it from the church. You guys have been doing this long before we did. For thousands of years it was not about entertainment and riches that rust could corrupt, but theology, sound doctrine and holy living. Then, because people started to show less of an interest in God, which corresponded to the increase in wealth and material possessions, they resorted to any means necessary to fill the pews, and now its all about a shallow experience, rock shows, and how Jesus will make you healthy, wealthy, and get you that promotion that we all know you deserve. They literally tickle the ears of their people, so we as politicians started doing the same thing and saw great success like the church did."

He went on to say, "Granted, this won't last. But we are willing to ride this wave as long as we can to keep our numbers and support up, and like the church, will change our ways to fit the times."