SOUTHHAMPTON, ENGLAND - To the shock of most atheists, evidence for the "Flying Spaghetti Monster" has been found.

"It's white, it's weird, it looks like a bowl of noodles turned upside down underwater. I can't believe the flying spaghetti monster is real!", atheist Jack said. "I have always said that the Christian God is just as made up as the flying spaghetti monster, but now I might have to reconsider that statement."

Since the monster has been found, atheists have already started to downplay their previous statements and are still adamant that they absolutely know for sure that there is no God, and they plan to continue to whine about it and suppress their anger against the God that doesn't exist.