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Calvinist Gives Up Criticizing Lent for Lent

ARIZONA – Calvinist and Facebook theology debater John Stone decided to give up criticizing lent for lent this year.

“I decided to do something I normally don’t do, shut up for once,” John said. “Normally on Ash Wednesday, which is obviously a pagan Roman superstition, that even some liberal protestants keep, I call out how wrong it is to celebrate Lent, and particularly get ashes on your forehead.”

“But nobody really cared about my criticisms and my complaints haven’t changed a thing, so I decided to give up criticizing those that have decided to pray and fast this lenten season.”

John did state clearly that after Easter, he will go back to criticizing other Christians that don’t look exactly like him, which is his standard operating procedure.


‘Answers in Genesis’ Finds Answers Outside the Book of Genesis

KENTUCKY – Young Earth Creationist Ministry ‘Answers in Genesis’ find more answers to life’s questions outside the book of Genesis.

If you visit the ‘Answers’ page on their website, you will find scores and scores of articles with answers to questions – but those answers come most of the time outside the book of Genesis.

We reached out to Ken Ham for a comment, “Even though our ministry is called ‘Answers in Genesis’, most of our answers come from other places other than the book of Genesis.” Ken continued, “This is pretty funny when you think about it, but not as funny as believing in evolution or the gap theory or disagreeing with my reading of Genesis.”

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God Hated Esau Accidentally Read By Man That Says “God Loves Everyone”

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON – A young man that says “God loves you” to everybody he meets was teaching through Romans 9 when he accidentally read, “Jacob I lo…

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON – A young man that says "God loves you" to everybody he meets was teaching through Romans 9 when he accidentally read, "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated."

At first, the young man just  kept moving as if what he read didn’t contradict his foundational belief that God loves everybody.  Others listening said, "Wait a minute, I thought you said God loves everyone? Doesn’t this plainly teach God doesn’t love everyone?"

The young man started to turn red as he blushed and nervously chuckled. "Maybe this a translation issue. What does your version say?" And lo and behold, they all said the same thing, including the Greek.

"Well, God did love Esau at one point but then he ended up hating him because he sold his birthright", the young man said.

Someone said, "But look at what you just read, the scripture says before they were even born this was determined. And then it goes on to say, this happened so that God’s purpose according to election might stand."

The young man responded, "Well that wouldn’t be fair. If God loved Jacob and hated Esau before they did right or wrong. He wouldn’t be just."

Someone in the Bible study replied, "No, keep reading, ‘Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.’ God chose not to show mercy to Esau."

The young man said, "God has to show mercy or at least offer it to everyone otherwise he is a monster."

After arguing back and forth about this text, the young man quickly closed the study in prayer. The next day he was seen telling people on the college campus that "God loved them and has a wonderful plan for their life."

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Millennials Stone Man That Said, “He that is Without Sin, Let Him Cast the First Stone”

BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA –  A Christian was preaching the gospel on a college campus to millennials that could not bear to hear words they didn’t agree wi…

BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA – A Christian was preaching the gospel on a college campus to millennials that could not bear to hear words they didn’t agree with.

The millennials looked frantically for a safe place, but found none. They called the police, but they would be a while. It was a horrifying scene, with no place for them to hide. So they circled around the gospel preacher and started to hurl insults while sticking their fingers in their ears.

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. You have sinned against a holy God and you need to repent and believe the gospel. There is mercy for you at the cross of Christ, and there is salvation in no other", the preacher said.

The millennials became even more infuriated and shouted, "There is no such thing as sin. I have never sinned a day in my life. You are spreading hate not love. If there is a God, he would be loving."

The preacher responded, "He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone."

Immediately from the oldest to the youngest, tolerant open minded millennials picked up stones and started hurling them at the preacher.

"You are so mean, spreading your religion of hate and exclusivity. You need to be loving like we are," they said as they pelted him with stones.

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