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“Coat of Many Colors” Proves Joseph was Gay

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – “Joseph’s coat of many colors proves he was gay”, gay man says.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Joseph’s coat of many colors proves he was gay", gay man says.

"Look at that coat!", the gay man said. "You are telling me that is not a gay man? That is more flamboyant than what I am wearing or what you see at some of these parades!"

The gay man continued, "I heard that Jacob his Father gave him that coat. You see, his Father was accepting of his lifestyle. He didn’t judge his son. Why can’t you be like that?"

Lifestyle

The Over-Qualifying Christian – Episode 1 – “I’m Good”

A female friend of Johnny asks how he is doing. Johnny cannot resist the opportunity to inject all kinds of over-qualifying statements to make sure he is still theologically sound in his response, “I’m good.”

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Lifestyle

“Everything is Awesome” Declared to be the Theme Song of Heaven

HEAVEN – Lego movie theme song “Everything is Awesome” declared to be the theme song of heaven.

An angel reported that around the great throne of God the Cherubim and Seraphim, together with all the saints sing:

Everything is awesome, everything is cool when your part of a team
Everything is awesome, when you’re living out a dream

Everything is better when we stick together
Some have said you and I are gonna win forever?
Lets party forever
We’re the same unlike you, you’re like me we’re all working in harmony

Everything is awesome, everything is cool when your part of a team
Everything is awesome, when you’re living out a dream

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Evangelism

Calvinist Gives Up Criticizing Lent for Lent

ARIZONA – Calvinist and Facebook theology debater John Stone decided to give up criticizing lent for lent this year.

“I decided to do something I normally don’t do, shut up for once,” John said. “Normally on Ash Wednesday, which is obviously a pagan Roman superstition, that even some liberal protestants keep, I call out how wrong it is to celebrate Lent, and particularly get ashes on your forehead.”

“But nobody really cared about my criticisms and my complaints haven’t changed a thing, so I decided to give up criticizing those that have decided to pray and fast this lenten season.”

John did state clearly that after Easter, he will go back to criticizing other Christians that don’t look exactly like him, which is his standard operating procedure.

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