SOUTH CAROLINA – Independent Baptist and person who self-identifies as a man of God John Mark recently discovered that his theological tradition of King James Onlyism isn’t older than his grandfather.
“We need to go back to that old time religion and the old faith and the old paths”, John Mark would say. But “old” apparently only means going back to the mid-20th century where King James Onlyism has its origin.
“That doesn’t bother me a bit”, John Mark said. “If the King James Bible was good enough for Paul, it’s good enough for me. I don’t care if King James Onlyism is an American only, Fundamentalist only, belief system. It is obviously true because I believe it.”
‘Answers in Genesis’ Finds Answers Outside the Book of Genesis
KENTUCKY – Young Earth Creationist Ministry ‘Answers in Genesis’ find more answers to life’s questions outside the book of Genesis.
If you visit the ‘Answers’ page on their website, you will find scores and scores of articles with answers to questions – but those answers come most of the time outside the book of Genesis.
We reached out to Ken Ham for a comment, “Even though our ministry is called ‘Answers in Genesis’, most of our answers come from other places other than the book of Genesis.” Ken continued, “This is pretty funny when you think about it, but not as funny as believing in evolution or the gap theory or disagreeing with my reading of Genesis.”
Woman Awake and Lively During Worship, Falls Asleep During Sermon
SAINT AUGUSTINE, FL – Woman who was singing and praising God during the worship band’s performance moments later suddenly falls asleep five minutes into the Pastor’s sermon.
While visiting a local Southern Baptist Church, the youth worship band was leading in the normal worship service – so it was very lively. My family and I sat in the second row from the front next to a woman. She was all into the worship experience, hands raised, arms stretched out and all. You would think she got a good nights sleep before. Then suddenly, when the rock-n-roll concert ended, and the pastor stepped onto the stage to preach a sermon, the woman pulled her sweatshirt up towards her face, closed her eyes, and within minutes started snoring.
She slept through the whole sermon. Granted, the auditorium was dimly light with all lights focused on the man of God, but still, she fell asleep. But it looks like only me and my wife noticed.
As soon as the sermon was over, the drums started and an altar call was issued, and the woman woke up.
Calvinist Gives Up Criticizing Lent for Lent
ARIZONA – Calvinist and Facebook theology debater John Stone decided to give up criticizing lent for lent this year.
“I decided to do something I normally don’t do, shut up for once,” John said. “Normally on Ash Wednesday, which is obviously a pagan Roman superstition, that even some liberal protestants keep, I call out how wrong it is to celebrate Lent, and particularly get ashes on your forehead.”
“But nobody really cared about my criticisms and my complaints haven’t changed a thing, so I decided to give up criticizing those that have decided to pray and fast this
John did state clearly that after Easter, he will go back to criticizing other Christians that don’t look exactly like him, which is his standard operating procedure.