Connect with us

Lifestyle

Man tells God “Judge Not” at the Great White Throne of Judgment

Man tells God, “Judge not”, at the Great White Throne of Judgment

BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD – A man standing before the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth cites Matthew 7 out of context and tells God to "Judge not" on the day of Judgment.

The man, just having seen heaven and earth flee from the presence of God, reminded God to "Judge not" on this day. The man was confident he had an excuse before God.

"Judge not lest you be judged", the man said to God. "You don’t want people to think you’re mean do you? Aren’t you forgiving? Aren’t you loving?"

Then books were opened and the man was judged for every deed in the body, and every thought he ever had.

Lifestyle

The Over-Qualifying Christian – Episode 1 – “I’m Good”

A female friend of Johnny asks how he is doing. Johnny cannot resist the opportunity to inject all kinds of over-qualifying statements to make sure he is still theologically sound in his response, “I’m good.”

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

“Everything is Awesome” Declared to be the Theme Song of Heaven

HEAVEN – Lego movie theme song “Everything is Awesome” declared to be the theme song of heaven.

An angel reported that around the great throne of God the Cherubim and Seraphim, together with all the saints sing:

Everything is awesome, everything is cool when your part of a team
Everything is awesome, when you’re living out a dream

Everything is better when we stick together
Some have said you and I are gonna win forever?
Lets party forever
We’re the same unlike you, you’re like me we’re all working in harmony

Everything is awesome, everything is cool when your part of a team
Everything is awesome, when you’re living out a dream

Continue Reading

Evangelism

Calvinist Gives Up Criticizing Lent for Lent

ARIZONA – Calvinist and Facebook theology debater John Stone decided to give up criticizing lent for lent this year.

“I decided to do something I normally don’t do, shut up for once,” John said. “Normally on Ash Wednesday, which is obviously a pagan Roman superstition, that even some liberal protestants keep, I call out how wrong it is to celebrate Lent, and particularly get ashes on your forehead.”

“But nobody really cared about my criticisms and my complaints haven’t changed a thing, so I decided to give up criticizing those that have decided to pray and fast this lenten season.”

John did state clearly that after Easter, he will go back to criticizing other Christians that don’t look exactly like him, which is his standard operating procedure.

Continue Reading

Trending