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Treasures in Heaven Now Taxed by Federal Government

The Federal Government just passed a law allowing them to tax your treasures in heaven

WASHINGTON D.C. – The federal government just passed a law that allows them to tax a Christian’s treasure in heaven.

The idea came when members of congress were made aware that Christians receive an inheritance and are heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ. Naturally they thought, we can take some of that.

"Render to Caesar what is Caesar’s… Jesus himself taught we have the divine right to tax, and tax we shall, even the treasures you have laid up in heaven", one government official said.

Many Christians opposed the new measure, saying the government continues to steal what does not belong to them. To which the federal government replied, "Isn’t if of grace and not works? You didn’t earn your rewards then, so what does it matter if we take a fair portion of it?"

Evangelism

‘Answers in Genesis’ Finds Answers Outside the Book of Genesis

KENTUCKY – Young Earth Creationist Ministry ‘Answers in Genesis’ find more answers to life’s questions outside the book of Genesis.

If you visit the ‘Answers’ page on their website, you will find scores and scores of articles with answers to questions – but those answers come most of the time outside the book of Genesis.

We reached out to Ken Ham for a comment, “Even though our ministry is called ‘Answers in Genesis’, most of our answers come from other places other than the book of Genesis.” Ken continued, “This is pretty funny when you think about it, but not as funny as believing in evolution or the gap theory or disagreeing with my reading of Genesis.”

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Ministry

Woman Awake and Lively During Worship, Falls Asleep During Sermon

SAINT AUGUSTINE, FL – Woman who was singing and praising God during the worship band’s performance moments later suddenly falls asleep five minutes into the Pastor’s sermon.

While visiting a local Southern Baptist Church, the youth worship band was leading in the normal worship service – so it was very lively. My family and I sat in the second row from the front next to a woman. She was all into the worship experience, hands raised, arms stretched out and all. You would think she got a good nights sleep before. Then suddenly, when the rock-n-roll concert ended, and the pastor stepped onto the stage to preach a sermon, the woman pulled her sweatshirt up towards her face, closed her eyes, and within minutes started snoring.

She slept through the whole sermon. Granted, the auditorium was dimly light with all lights focused on the man of God, but still, she fell asleep. But it looks like only me and my wife noticed.

As soon as the sermon was over, the drums started and an altar call was issued, and the woman woke up.

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Ministry

Hymn Number 666 Never Sung in Church

Church refuses to sing hymn number 666.

Earth – A recent study by Pew Research confirmed that no church on earth sings Hymn number 666.

"I am not superstitious, but I’m a little ‘stitious", one church member said. "I don’t think it’s right to sing that in church", said another.

Publishers are considering removing the hymn with the number 666, so the song won’t be ignored anymore. "We can just skip 666 altogether, just like we do in the NIV Bible with verses we removed – no one seems to notice", a Zondervan spokesman said.

Other Christians are bragging that their hymnal doesn’t even have over 666 songs in it, so it’s not an issue for them.

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